God's Grace

In Tony Evans’ book, God Himself, A Journey Through His Attributes, he poses this question in his chapter on The Grace of God:  What did you do last week, last month, or last year that only God could have pulled off? 

That question stumped me, and stopped me cold.  What indeed?  He goes on to say “If you cannot point to something in your life that only God could have done, you are not growing in grace. You still live in your own power.”  

Wow.  So I thought over the past 15 months. I haven’t done anything. After all, I’ve been pretty isolated and have had few what we would call “opportunities for ministry” since my accident last June.  I have been so busy recovering that ministering to others hasn’t been on my radar.  And that’s what I thought the question was asking. What big thing did I do for God? It was convicting as I couldn’t think of anything I’ve done in the past year besides feel sorry for myself.  I couldn’t even go on in the chapter, as that question haunted me.  Was I growing in grace? Was I living in my own power?

But this week, it hit me.  My recovery from the accident, my recovery from my surgeries, my recovery from the infection that ended in the amputation of my toe was not possible, not in the least, without the grace of God.  I’ve been so focused on myself, on my pain, on my recovery that I wasn’t thinking about anyone else, so I didn’t think I was doing anything for God. Notice how it was all about ME? 

This past 15 months I’ve learned so much about the character of God.  I’ve learned he loves me - imperfect, fallen me.  I took my eyes off of God and put them on myself. I was so busy thinking about how miserable I was, how slow my recovery was, how much pain I was in, how, when faced with the idea of losing a part of me, that I couldn’t think of anything else.  God doesn’t look at the fact that I’m now, in my eyes, less than whole. I never was whole, and never could be, outside of God’s saving grace.  He looks at me and sees a person made whole though the work of his son.  Physically, no. I’m not whole. I never will be again. But spiritually? I’m a new creation. 

So to answer that question that haunted me for several days - my recovery, both physical and spiritual, was only due to the grace of God.  I couldn’t have done it myself. Not at all.  

Photo by Alex Shute on Unsplash