Knowing God

 

I’ve been working through J. I Packer's Knowing God for the past several months. I’m reading, taking notes and looking at the study guide questions. 

One of the first questions he asks is what is my ultimate aim? Why am I studying the Godhead? I suppose my hungering for it started when I read Tony Evans’ book, God Himself, while going through counseling in 2022. It was at a particularly rough time in my life, and in some ways that book was life changing. I was brought up in the church, accepted Christ at a very young age, Christian college educated, yet even though I had all the head knowledge, it wasn’t heart knowledge. I’ve been driven to know more about God as a result. I’m also driven to learn more about Covenant Theology, but that’s a different blog! 

Packer points out five truths, five foundation-principles about God: 

• God has spoken to man, and the Bible is his Word 

• God is Lord and King over his world, he rules all things for his own glory 

• God is Savior, acting in sovereign love through the Lord Jesus Christ to rescue believers from sin 

• God is Triune – the Father, Son and Holy Spirit 

o All three act together in salvation – The Father proposing redemption, the Son securing it, and the Spirit applying it. 

• Godliness means responding to God’s revelation in trust and obedience, faith and worship, prayer and praise, submission and service. 

I am driven to know more of God’s character, to understand him and His ways as he reveals himself to me. Then I am better prepared to tell others about what God has done in and through me.  I have found, since my major health issues and how I finally recognized God working, that I'm no longer afraid to freely share just what God did in my life.  It doesn't terrify me any longer, because one can't argue with my personal story.  So, it’s not just to gain knowledge, even if that is a lofty goal, but to actually act on it. I want to KNOW God, not just know ABOUT God. There is a difference. For example, I know about politicians, celebrities, etc, but I can’t say I really KNOW any of them. (Not that I really want to!)

 Packer lists four things that knowing God involves:

 

• Listening to God’s word and receiving it. 

• Noting God’s nature and character as revealed through Scripture. 

• Accepting His invitations and doing what He commands. 

• Recognizing and rejoicing in the love he has shown.

 Further on, Packer makes this comment, that will stay with me: 

 …those who know him – that is, those by whom he allows himself to be known – are loved and cared for by him. 

Do I “know” God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit? Do they know me? The disciples knew Jesus in a way that is different from how we do. They walked, talked, slept, ate, lived with him daily for the three years of his earthly ministry. Their experience was bodily - physical – while mine is spiritual. Truth about Jesus was revealed to them slowly, while we have the written word which contains all of it. Along those lines, Jesus taught them day by day with his “fresh words”, but today I can read it and understand how Jesus is revealed in every page of Scripture. But knowing Jesus is still a matter of personal discipleship. Jesus is the same today as he was then and knowing him involves the same – walking and learning from him. To know him is still the same – being saved by him from sin, guilt and death. It's a personal thing.  Packer explains it through three things:

• Knowing God is a matter of personal dealing, dealing with him as he reveals himself to me.
• Knowing God is a matter of personal involvement - mind, will, feeling - and committing to him, identifying with his purposes and concerns, and, most importantly, doing what he commands.
• Finally knowing God is a matter of grace.  And this is an area I am coming to understand better.  Packer reminds me that all the initiative starts with God - the drawing me to him.  

We don't make friends with God on our terms, but at his invitation and on his terms.  We can't seek him out unless he draws us.  But my question for my Calvinist friends is this: can we refuse to respond?  That's where I"m stuck.  And why I'm continuing to study.  

(All quotes from Knowing God, by J. I. Packer. Published by Holder Y& Stroughton Ltd, London,  1973. Pages 18, 39, 40-42.)

Letters from the Front Part 2

As promised in my last blog post, here's the second letter that my father-in-law received. First, the transcript

17 Oct 51

Hi Tom,

Well how is that rough Basic Coming along. Are they working the hell out of you, I hope. By now you should be about finished at Harris Island. But I’ll send this letter to that address because it is the only one that I have. I hope you get yourself a racket somewhere and don’t come to Korea. It is getting a little rough over here. When you start a push with a Batln (sic - possibly Battalion) that is a little over strength and *9 chips* (sic, unsure what this word is) late you have about 53 rifle men left. Also there was only one weapons squad left in the 3 rifle Co. When I go back in a day or two I can be platoon Sgt. But we only get a 4 man Platoon. At least we had 21 men left on the 17th. Maybe by now they have some replacements.

Were having quite a time here. We have about 1/2 of “Charlie Company” in this hospital. It is not even safe to be a cook in a live company *and* (not sure, could be something else) have a couple of the cooks in this hospital. We lost every officer & every non-com. So they made a platoon of the entire Co. and made them a part of “Baker Co.”

You *Glong* (sic) Happy So & So’s in the Marines and are going to be in for a surprise if you get over here. We killed at least 2 chinks for every wounded guy we had and still they kept coming. I picked up some shrapnel in the leg from a grenade, that night they “Bonzied” us from 4 AM till 9 AM. I got hit about 5:30 and was*dyled* (sic). You would be surprised how happy the guys were when they get hit.

Well let me know how things are in the Marines. I still want to know why you joined that outfit. I never could figure it out.

Well that’s about all

Your Pal

Eddie

Letters from the Front

Tom and I started working through his father's documents and photos that have been sitting here since he passed in 2007. We found were a lot of letters - letters from his father to his mother while they were courting, letters from his uncle Frank. But so far the most interesting letters are from a friend of his name Eddie. Eddie was in the Army, stationed in Korea in 1951. The letters describe what he was going through. They are rough, sobering, but the offer insight into what life was like in a war zone.

For some background and identifying information, Tom's father was Bronislaus Thomas Ploski, born in 1929. He grew up in Danbury, Connecticut and Tom believes he went to the now-closed Sacred Heart Parochial School. I'd really love it if I could find Eddie's family, but there is no information that would indicate Eddie's last name. I can tell from the letters that he was stationed near the 2nd Division.

Here is the transcription of the first letter:

17 Sept 51

Hi Tom

Well how is it to be a young happy Marine. I have been trying to get your address for a month now. I got your letter yesterday. What was that crack you made in your letter about Japanese. I was in Japan about 70 hours then I was back on the boat on my way to Korea and the front line. I’m not an MP just a plain rifle man in line company.

My first day in the company I went out on a 16 hour patrol. What a blast in the ass that was. Up & down mountains for 16 hours. And that is all I have been doing since. That is all there is in Korea is mountains. For the first month I carried a BAR the Belt & the AR must weigh 40 lb. I though I’d never make some of these hills but I did. But you sure feel safe with a AR. I finally had to give up the AR when they made me a squad leader.

There may be peace talks going on, but that don’t make any differences to the Chinks. They kicked the shit out of us at night two weeks ago. We’re not the only ones. The Marines got the shit kicked out of them too. One of my buddies is in the 23 Reg of the 2nd Div. He wore and told me how they had to help the Marines.

They sure gave us a rough time. We were on a patrol base that was almost behind Chink lines. For 2 days (sic, may not be) they would throw mortars in on us once in a while then one night they let us have it with 120 mortars. Over here the GI *unk* dig for fox holes. But you should have seen us dig that night. The Chinks must have crawled under their own mortar fire because when the mortars stopped some of them were in our foxholes. I never heard so many purp guns in all my life they seemed to be firing at me from all sides. You can always hear them once they start a attack they blow bugles & whistles and start yelling.

Our squad was lucky we held them off in front of us with grenades but they overran the higher ground on our flank and started firing down on us. When the order came to move back we sure did move. When you look back and see someone shooting in your direction your bum run a long way.

The line was about 4 miles in back of us and I know guys who doubled timed most of the way with all their equipment. I left helmet and belt and a lot of other equipment behind. I don’t mind fighting in the day time so much but I sure hate fighting at night. I hope you come over here then you wish you never joined the marines. No I hope you don’t come over. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody. This is a filthy stinking country. I don’t see how people can live here.

Well don’t believe all they teach you in basic. You never use it over here. They waste so much time teaching you how to fire a rifle. Then I get over here and we lay down marching fire from the hips & shoulders. I’ve had 10 different weapons and haven’t been over here 10 weeks yet. You never know how a rifle is *zeroed in* (possibly) Every time we go back in reserve for a couple of days they give us bayonet Patrice. But I’ve yet to hear of a guy using a bayonet on a “chink”. If you’re close enough to stick him your’e close enough to shoot him.

The one thing that gets me is going to chow. Usually we’re on the top of a hill 300-400 meters high and you have to up and down it 3 times a day to get hot chow. I will say that we got better chow on the front lines than you’re getting in the States. We got about 18 cans of beer twice a month on the line. And Except for the beer you don’t have to pay for anything.

Yes Tom, it’s a lot of fun. We’re near Yongchon (Yeoncheon) now. It is east of Kaesong. Well if you ship out to the west coast let me know and I’ll have a foxhole dug by the time you get to Korea, for you.

Well I’ll have to end now. I need a little sleep because we usually have to stay awake all night. If you ever get time drop me a line and let me know why you joined the Marines. And also tell me how tough training is.

Your Pal,

Eddie

PS You’ll have to excuse the writing. I’m in a chink bunker. Those bastards don’t make them big enough for a GI. And I’ll be damned if I’ll make it any bigger.

Yours,

Eddie

PS I hear you write to Jean all the time. Anything happen between you & her or is it that you are just good friends?

Eddie

Starry Night - Finished

 I never posted the finished Starry Night Quilt.  I finished it June 22nd and while the free motion quilting isn't professional, it will do, especially since Amanda reminded me that "Mom, it's Van Gogh. It's not supposed to be perfect." She's right, of course.  When we got to Cleveland, and I showed a picture of it to Olivia, she started to cry. That tells me where the quilt's new home has to be.  Now that we are home from our long vacation (another blog post!) I'm going to get it labeled and send it to Amanda who will then take it to work and give it to Olivia there.  I think she will like it.  

Next quilts - I got fabric to make Kolton and Konnor (Tom's grandsons) a dinosaur quilt, fabric to make a quilt based on the Rainbow Row in Charleston, SC, and fabric that has several faith-based sayings that will likely become a runner and wall hanging.  

Starry Night Number One

 

Quilting. I’ve not done it for some time, life kind of interfered with it for a while. I did make our grandson Konnor a baby quilt, but that’s pretty much been it for almost three years. But I’m finally back piecing again.

My youngest sister, Priscilla Bigley, died in December 2022. She was an ardent Van Gogh fan, and she actually was a pretty talented artist. She had done several paintings based on Starry Night, including her car at one point! She had tributes to Van Gogh, Monet, and Dr. Who on that car!

 

I was tasked at her memorial with helping with some of the arrangements. Tom and I wanted to find a journal that people could write memories in, that would serve as a guest book. While we were looking through the journals, Tom commented that I should look for one that had Starry Night on it. I browsed through them and found one that was backward. Pulled it out to turn it around, and lo and behold – it was a Starry Night journal! Needless to say, I grabbed it immediately.

How does this relate to quilting? Well, I was thinking about using up some of the multitudes of scraps, and it dawned on me that I have enough blues to make a go at a Starry Night quilt. I’m determined to only use what I have, with the possible exception of backing. I found that I do have sufficient blues/yellows/golds and whites to pull this off. Off to search for a pattern. Well, there aren’t really any out there, so I have to improvise. I found a pixel image that would work!

So far, so good! They are 2” blocks to start with, finishing at 1 1⁄2”, so it won’t be really big, but it will work as a table runner or wall hanging. I may not be the pen-and-ink and paint artists my sisters are, but I can certainly create with the gifts I have been given!

I really hope to have this finished, with the possible exception of the binding, by the time we leave for our extended trip on June 21. We’ll see. I won’t be able to work on it much this week as we are going to be in Phoenix for our 22nd anniversary, but when I get home, I’m going to really push to finish this!

Keep watching, I’ll post updates frequently! 

Quilting and other stuff

After being away from it for almost a year and a half, I’m finally back in the quilting game. I did a wall hanging for our daughter-in-law Jodie but neglected to take a picture of it. Our daughter-in -law, Kortney, recently had a baby, the cutie Konnor, so that called for a baby quilt. I just finished it, and it will go in the mail this weekend or early next week. It’s a disappearing nine-patch, one of the easy patterns for beginners to start with. I did use Minky for the backing and because he lives in Florida, there is no need for batting as the Minky is warm enough. Then Amanda asked for bowl cozies – great use for orphan blocks I have laying around. I hope to start them this week. A few of the blocks need some extra borders to make them big enough, but they should go together easily. I’ll post pictures of them when I finish. 

 A while ago, Amanda challenged me to make wall hangings and matching table runners – one for each month. I already have a few that go well together, but that’s a challenge that I can easily take on! Table runners and wall hangings go together fairly easily, so I should be able to accomplish it. 

 I took a couple of days to work on organizing scraps. I made decent progress, but still have a lot of them to go. Maybe I’ll start a lenders/enders quilt. For those of you who are not familiar with them, Bonnie Hunter, a quilt teacher, author, and designer, first introduced me to them through her blog at Quiltville.com. You take two pieces of whatever you want, use them to start and finish whatever pieces you are working on for your main quilt. They help prevent nests and thread jams, and in the process, you end up with enough pieces that you have a scrap quilt ready to go. I did make two quilts that way, not scrappy but using pieces that were cut for one quilt while working on another. 

 Another project that I discovered I need to start is sorting pictures and putting together photo albums/scrapbooks for the kids. I have so many pictures. Ones that I took and some that Mom took and sent me. I did do one for Amanda for her high school graduation; I need to as her if I can look at them and see if I have other pictures that would warrant another one for her. But first, I’m going to start with Chuck and get his done. That will likely be a very long-term project – making multiple albums for all four of the kids, and probably even one for Andrew, Tom’s son, as I have a lot of pictures of him as well. 

 Today, as I’m writing this, it’s Sunday. We have a football game on, but neither of us is really watching it. Our internet has been giving us fits lately – the past two days we are lucky to have an uninterrupted hour. I honestly don’t know how Cox is staying in business with this. It probably explains why their cable prices have gone through the roof. It was a rough day for my sister, who is struggling with her own personal demons. I won’t publicize what her struggle is, suffice it to say, she is in deep need of a filling of the Spirit and a full surrender to the Lord. I came home from church and needed to listen to praise music, so I put Spotify on (for the hour or so that the internet actually worked!). I usually listen to Keith and Kristen Getty, as I really like their worship songs. One of the songs that came on over their channel was by Bobbie Mason, Trust His Heart. I remember when I was going through my divorce, in the very early days. We were attending Mt. Ararat Baptist in Stafford, Virginia. Every year they did a “living Christmas tree” with drama and music. This particular year, that song was the major focal point of the musical. I went to practice on one of the lowest days, and, unbeknownst to me, that was the song we were practicing. I hadn’t listened to the tracks yet, so when we started singing it, and I let the words sink in, I could barely finish. Several people noticed and offered me comfort, for which I am still grateful. The lyrics still mean so much to me today: 

All things work for our good 

Though sometimes we don't see 

 How they could 

Struggles that break our hearts in two 

Sometimes blind us to the truth 

Our Father knows what's best for us 

His ways are not our own 

So when your pathway grows dim 

And you just don't see Him, 

Remember you're never alone 

 God is too wise to be mistaken 

God is too good to be unkind 

So when you don't understand 

When don't see His plan 

When you can't trace His hand 

Trust His Heart 

Trust His Heart 

 He sees the master plan 

And he holds our future in His hand, 

So don't live as those who have no hope, 

All our hope is found in Him 

We see the present clearly 

But He sees the first and the last 

And like a tapestry 

He's weaving you and me, 

To someday be just like Him 

God is too wise to be mistaken 

God is too good to be unkind 

So when you don't understand 

When don't see His plan 

When you can't trace His hand 

Trust His Heart 

He alone is faithful and true 

He alone knows what is best for you 

God is too wise to be mistaken 

God is too good to be unkind 

So when you don't understand 

When don't see His plan 

When you can't trace His hand 

Trust His Heart When you don't understand 

When you don't see His plan 

When you can't trace His hand 

Trust His Heart 

Trust His Heart 

 Source: LyricFind Songwriters: Babbie Y. Mason / Eddie Carswell

When I set about to restart my blog a couple of years ago, I had a list of what to do on what day. I obviously didn’t keep to it, as the events of the past year caused me to neglect “regular life” if you will, in favor of just trying to recover.  Well, recovery is nearly over for now, I’m just waiting for clearance to have my other knee surgery done, so it’s time to get back to something of a routine, and that means blogging more mundane stuff that no one reads.

Anyhow, Mondays were planned to be general topics - everything that doesn’t fall on another day.  Which means what? I have no idea right now.  And it turns out that this one is being published on Tuesday. Oh well.  I just know that I need to start writing again, and the words will come.  As James Dobson used to say, “Women have 50,000 words and men only have 25,000”.  I get the point, even if it’s an exaggeration.  It’s definitely true in our house.  Tom uses all his words communicating with people he works with - clients and co-workers.  Since I’m retired and stay at home most of the time, I simply have no one to listen to me blather on!  So I write.  Is it read by anyone or am I just writing to be writing? Honestly, I don’t know and in reality it doesn’t matter. This one may be a bit more controversial though!

One of the things I’ve been reflecting on in the past several years has been the state of the

Photo by Anthony Fomin on Unsplash

Union. Or should I say “dis-Union” as we are far from a united country. I think the last time we were unified about anything was on September 11, 2001. That day, the day we were attacked on our own soil and we came together as one - it didn’t matter whether you were white, black, yellow, gay, straight, Catholic, Jewish, Protestant, Hindu, even Muslim. If you were in the towers, had family in the towers, had family aboard any of the airlines that were used as weapons - it didn’t matter. You were part of the American family that had lost 2,996 souls that day.  We all saw the anguish. We all felt the grief. It was one of those defining moments in life. Everyone knows where they were and what they were doing that day, and it was devastating.  What followed was a show of unity that we have not seen since, and I think we are the poorer for that.  

Now, politicians and the media seem bent on destroying this country.  I’m not saying one party is more or less guilty than the other - they are both equally at fault.  The finger pointing, the blame games, the pitting one against another applies to both.  Earlier this summer, when we were in the midst of the primaries and candidates seeking our vote, we had a local politician come to the door seeking our endorsement. I told Tom to tell her that “due to the events of the past several years, if you are a politician, I don’t trust you, I don’t care who you claim to represent.” I don’t know, but I don’t think she quite got it.  

The events of the past several years has served to erode trust in multiple governmental agencies.  Politicians seem to say what they think will get votes, they make promises they not only can’t keep, but likely in reality never intend on keeping anyhow.  We have two governors coming to verbal blows daily over just about everything - right now the current hot button issues are the border crisis and abortion - both of which stir very passionate arguments on both sides. I won’t say debate, because debate involved an even handed give-and-take of ideas, listening to and responding with respect to the other opinion, then either a change of mind or agreeing to disagree. We don’t have that happening now. Not at all.  Every disagreement, every discussion about hot topic issues ends with logical fallacies - ad hominem attacks, circular reasoning, red herrings, and more - all of them in one form or another. 

Photo by Florian Klauer on Unsplash

If I could actually sit down with some of them, I would ask a couple of questions. I’d love honest answers, but that is very unlikely.  What are my questions?  Well, when it comes to abortion, I am unashamedly pro-life.  I would love to know from my Republican friends and the politicians out there just what hope exactly are they giving the women who find themselves in crisis?  I’m not referring to those who choose to end a life because it interferes with their “career” or “happiness”. I have no pity for them. The ones I’m referring to are those who are victims of sexual crimes, in dire poverty, or even of youthful stupidity.  What hope, what support are they being given? If you are so pro-life, then put your money where your mouth is and do something meaningful for them. I realize there are Crisis Pregnancy Centers (Hands of Hope, locally) out there - why are they not more fully funded? Oh, right. Most of them are faith based. Ok, if you don’t want to support a faith based one, then start a non-faith based one that offers the same services! Don’t leave these women or children out in the cold.  

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

The other hot-button issue right now is the border crisis.  There has been a reluctance, ok, more like refusal, of the current administration to admit and acknowledge that there is a very real crisis on the border.  This week alone saw action by one governor who is choosing to take a very strong stand against the influx of migrants who come to this country through the back door.  I did not agree with many of the immigration policies that the previous administration put in place, but I also live in a border state and see daily reports of how porous our border is.  There has to be an answer, but to date no one is coming up with any solutions.  Agree or disagree with what Florida’s governor did this past week, but does the federal government really expect Florida, Texas, Arizona to just suck it up and support those flowing into our states with zero help? We are having enough trouble taking care of our own citizens, much less this massive influx of others. 

And I’m not lacking in compassion. Several years ago, I worked intensively with refugees. I primarily worked with helping them learn English so they could navigate this great country of ours better.  Given the opportunity, I would love to do that again. For now, I’m waiting, and praying, about just where God would use me.  I honestly don’t know. Since I left my last job, I’ve kind of been on the shelf. I don’t know what he has in store for me, ministry wise. It could be helping at Hands of Hope. It could be working with refugees again. It could be teaching ESL again.  It could be… what? I don’t know right now.  I’m waiting for the right opportunity to present itself, one that will use my gifts, which are primarily service and administrative. The past year’s physical challenges kept me away from everything but God has been working in the background, preparing me. I’m going to look into some of the options in the next few days, and who knows, maybe next week’s blog will reveal something. I want to be part of the solution, however minute that might be. I just need to be open to where God may be leading. I need to hear him. I need to listen. And then I need to act.