Tuesday, June 11, 2013


My life seemed normal until
So many things.
Until I had that horrible miscarriage, the first of four.  I spiraled into major depression. 
Until one of my children went through a very difficult time that affected our entire family.
Until I found myself facing a divorce that I did not want.  I was now one of the "statistics". 
Until I became a stepmother to two sons who did not want a stepmother.
Until I suffered through the rebellion of one daughter who is still away from the Lord, and another daughter who has returned and grown.
Until I lost my mother.
Until I discovered that I do not have the relationships with family that I want

I discovered hope and help in Jesus when
His steadfast love endured forever and saw me through each and every one of those life changing events.  He has remained faithful to me when I've not been faithful to him.  He answered prayers over and over again during all of those events.  Reading back through my journals reveals so many areas where God was faithful and was carrying me along.  Some of them are yet to be resolved, and may never be here on this earth, but God is faithful and will complete His purposes, in me and in the lives of others. 

I am glad I have a personal relationship with Jesus today because…
I would not know the peace that I do know without it.  Even in those darkest hours, I knew that He is faithful and that He knew what I was going through and was with me through the darkest of valleys. Without the hope that comes from knowing Him, I doubt I would have survived. 

I have so many things for which to be thankful.  Amanda is walking with the Lord, and soon to embark on the biggest adventure of her life so far, a mission trip to Sierra Leone.  If you would have asked me two years ago if I envisioned this, my answer would have been a resounding NO.  She was walking in active rebellion, but God got ahold of her life and turned her around, and now she is leaving to serve Him among the poorest of poor. 

I have my health.  It's not great, and I have some issues that I’m dealing with, but I'm not battling cancer like several of my friends are. 

I have a wonderful husband who loves me and is providing for me in ways that I never imagined.  He works long, hard hours and it is very stressful for him, but he does it.  He didn't have to pay for Matt's college or Amanda's college, yet he is doing just that.  He has lost (spiritually) his own two sons, yet we are in prayer constantly that they will return.  He is a wonderful provider and a great friend.

I have a church home that while it is not perfect, is the right place for us right now. I've met many new friends there who are challenging and encouraging me.

I am back in school, which is a major challenge for me, yet I am succeeding.  I don't yet know what  God has in store for me after this is over, but I'm sure He will reveal His plans.  I just need to be obedient now. 



Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good,
for his steadfast love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of gods,
for his steadfast love endures forever.
Give thanks to the Lord of lords,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
(Psalm 136:1-3 ESV)