We live in the
desert, which is usually very warm and dry. In the winter, our wet season, the
humidity generally runs below 50%, the dew point is often around 30. It is DRY.
So imagine my surprise one Monday morning as I woke up to a thick, pea
soup fog. We have had fog before, but
generally up in the mountains, and if it was in our valley, it burned off as
soon as the sun rose. However, this fog
was different. It descended and stayed
around for some time, not burning off until well after 9:00 a.m. It caught everyone off guard. There were
numerous car accidents, people were late to work, and everyone was somewhat
disconcerted by it. However, the fog did
lift; leaving behind a rare desert chill, but all was right with the world
again.
I read an article recently that seemed to
imply that trauma should not affect personal and spiritual lives; that those
who have been traumatized should get over it, turn it over to the Lord, and
life will be all “peaches and cream” forevermore. Usually those who have this outlook have not
experienced any kind of serious trauma.
They live in a world where they have been spared any major
difficulties. The implication from these
well-meaning people is that it is as simple as “give it over to God and the
pain will go away.” If you don’t do so,
or continue to struggle, then you simply are not “spiritual” enough, or you are
living in sin.
I have lived
with trauma- the trauma of a broken marriage.
I am 17
years removed from the end of my marriage, and yet, to this day, I am impacted
by it. When I was first faced with the
reality that I was about to become a statistic, it really felt like I was
grouping my way through a thick fog; an unrelenting, smothering, cold, damp fog
that seemed like it would continue forever.
You reach out to grasp at something, not knowing if it is safe enough to
hold you and help you through the fog, or if it is an angry animal that will
turn on you and attack. You do not know
where to turn; do not trust your instincts anymore; feel totally and completely
disoriented and lost, and have no idea when the fog will lift. You wonder where
God is, or if He is there at all.
Nevertheless,
the fog does begin to lift. As you feel
your way through it, you realize that by just sliding one foot in front of the
other, you are making progress. It begins to get easier. Slowly but surely, just as the fog burned off
in Tucson, the fog burns off in your life.
The sky is blue again and you can see clearly. However, it does not stay that way
forever. More clouds, more fog often
rolls in, and you find yourself in the fog again. The fog goes away much more quickly each time,
and the blue skies return. It does get
easier. You find that the foggy days are
not as frequent, in fact you will one day wake up and see nothing but blue
skies and realize that it’s been that way for some time. 
God was
there, even when I could not see or feel His presence. He was the One who
sustained me even when I felt like the fog would consume me. I turned to His word time and time again and
found comfort and the strength to press on.
Passages like the Psalms where David cried out in his anguish, pouring
his heart out to God. Promises like
those found in Jeremiah 29:11 and 33:3. God
was there, ever Faithful, ever True. The
God who provides, the God who sees. The God who Loves. God Almighty.
I can truly say along with the Psalmist
You are my
God and I will praise you,
You are my
God and I will exalt you!
Psalm 118:28
