Fog

We live in the desert, which is usually very warm and dry. In the winter, our wet season, the humidity generally runs below 50%, the dew point is often around 30.  It is DRY.  So imagine my surprise one Monday morning as I woke up to a thick, pea soup fog.  We have had fog before, but generally up in the mountains, and if it was in our valley, it burned off as soon as the sun rose.  However, this fog was different.  It descended and stayed around for some time, not burning off until well after 9:00 a.m.  It caught everyone off guard. There were numerous car accidents, people were late to work, and everyone was somewhat disconcerted by it.  However, the fog did lift; leaving behind a rare desert chill, but all was right with the world again.

I read an article recently that seemed to imply that trauma should not affect personal and spiritual lives; that those who have been traumatized should get over it, turn it over to the Lord, and life will be all “peaches and cream” forevermore.  Usually those who have this outlook have not experienced any kind of serious trauma.  They live in a world where they have been spared any major difficulties.  The implication from these well-meaning people is that it is as simple as “give it over to God and the pain will go away.”  If you don’t do so, or continue to struggle, then you simply are not “spiritual” enough, or you are living in sin.  

I have lived with trauma- the trauma of a broken marriage.  I am 17 years removed from the end of my marriage, and yet, to this day, I am impacted by it.  When I was first faced with the reality that I was about to become a statistic, it really felt like I was grouping my way through a thick fog; an unrelenting, smothering, cold, damp fog that seemed like it would continue forever.   You reach out to grasp at something, not knowing if it is safe enough to hold you and help you through the fog, or if it is an angry animal that will turn on you and attack.  You do not know where to turn; do not trust your instincts anymore; feel totally and completely disoriented and lost, and have no idea when the fog will lift. You wonder where God is, or if He is there at all.

Nevertheless, the fog does begin to lift.  As you feel your way through it, you realize that by just sliding one foot in front of the other, you are making progress. It begins to get easier.  Slowly but surely, just as the fog burned off in Tucson, the fog burns off in your life.  The sky is blue again and you can see clearly.  However, it does not stay that way forever.  More clouds, more fog often rolls in, and you find yourself in the fog again.  The fog goes away much more quickly each time, and the blue skies return.  It does get easier.  You find that the foggy days are not as frequent, in fact you will one day wake up and see nothing but blue skies and realize that it’s been that way for some time. 

God was there, even when I could not see or feel His presence. He was the One who sustained me even when I felt like the fog would consume me.  I turned to His word time and time again and found comfort and the strength to press on.  Passages like the Psalms where David cried out in his anguish, pouring his heart out to God.  Promises like those found in Jeremiah 29:11 and 33:3.  God was there, ever Faithful, ever True.  The God who provides, the God who sees. The God who Loves.  God Almighty.  I can truly say along with the Psalmist

You are my God and I will praise you,

You are my God and I will exalt you!

Psalm 118:28