Tuesday, June 11, 2013


My life seemed normal until
So many things.
Until I had that horrible miscarriage, the first of four.  I spiraled into major depression. 
Until one of my children went through a very difficult time that affected our entire family.
Until I found myself facing a divorce that I did not want.  I was now one of the "statistics". 
Until I became a stepmother to two sons who did not want a stepmother.
Until I suffered through the rebellion of one daughter who is still away from the Lord, and another daughter who has returned and grown.
Until I lost my mother.
Until I discovered that I do not have the relationships with family that I want

I discovered hope and help in Jesus when
His steadfast love endured forever and saw me through each and every one of those life changing events.  He has remained faithful to me when I've not been faithful to him.  He answered prayers over and over again during all of those events.  Reading back through my journals reveals so many areas where God was faithful and was carrying me along.  Some of them are yet to be resolved, and may never be here on this earth, but God is faithful and will complete His purposes, in me and in the lives of others. 

I am glad I have a personal relationship with Jesus today because…
I would not know the peace that I do know without it.  Even in those darkest hours, I knew that He is faithful and that He knew what I was going through and was with me through the darkest of valleys. Without the hope that comes from knowing Him, I doubt I would have survived. 

I have so many things for which to be thankful.  Amanda is walking with the Lord, and soon to embark on the biggest adventure of her life so far, a mission trip to Sierra Leone.  If you would have asked me two years ago if I envisioned this, my answer would have been a resounding NO.  She was walking in active rebellion, but God got ahold of her life and turned her around, and now she is leaving to serve Him among the poorest of poor. 

I have my health.  It's not great, and I have some issues that I’m dealing with, but I'm not battling cancer like several of my friends are. 

I have a wonderful husband who loves me and is providing for me in ways that I never imagined.  He works long, hard hours and it is very stressful for him, but he does it.  He didn't have to pay for Matt's college or Amanda's college, yet he is doing just that.  He has lost (spiritually) his own two sons, yet we are in prayer constantly that they will return.  He is a wonderful provider and a great friend.

I have a church home that while it is not perfect, is the right place for us right now. I've met many new friends there who are challenging and encouraging me.

I am back in school, which is a major challenge for me, yet I am succeeding.  I don't yet know what  God has in store for me after this is over, but I'm sure He will reveal His plans.  I just need to be obedient now. 



Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good,
for his steadfast love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of gods,
for his steadfast love endures forever.
Give thanks to the Lord of lords,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
(Psalm 136:1-3 ESV)

Friday, May 31, 2013

What do you think of when you hear the word "foundation"?  The first things that come to my mind, in order, are makeup, institutional foundations, the foundation of  a house.  Things are supported by foundations.  Actors need foundation as a base for other makeup in order to transform themselves into another character.  Institutional foundations serve to support may philanthropic ventures.

I went on a missions trip to do relief work shortly after Hurricane Katrina.  While there, we went on a tour of the city and I witnessed houses that had been pushed off their foundations by the force of the water.  Buildings were thrown off their foundations in the tsunami that devastated Indonesia in 2004, again in Japan in 2011, and more recently from Hurricane Sandy this past fall.  Witness also the destruction of the multitude of tornadoes that strike every year.  No matter how strong the physical foundation, it is no match for the force of nature - either wind or water.  It reminds me of the parable of the wise and the foolish man. You know the story, I'm sure.  We've all sung the song.  


The Wise Man Built His House

The wise man built his house upon the rock
The wise man built his house upon the rock
The wise man built his house upon the rock
And the rain came tumbling down

Oh, the rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
And the wise man's house stood firm.

The foolish man built his house upon the sand
The foolish man built his house upon the sand
The foolish man built his house upon the sand
And the rain came tumbling down

Oh, the rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
And the foolish man's house went "splat!" [clap hands once]

So, build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ
Build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ
Build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ
And the blessings will come down

Oh, the blessings come down
As your prayers go up
The blessings come down
As your prayers go up
The blessings come down
As your prayer go up
So build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ.

 I've thought a lot about foundations.  What is my foundation built on? What is yours? 



 -- I started this blog after Hurricane Sandy hit the Northeast. Lots interfered to keep me from finishing it.  I finally found the picture I wanted to use and am finally ready to post it.  The timing is poignant -  last week on May 20, tornadoes hit Oklahoma, specifically Moore, OK.  I'm sitting here listing to Fox News as they are broadcasting live yet another tornado that is bearing down on Oklahoma City.  A reminder that our faith is only as sure as our foundation.  We may well lose all that we have on this earth, but - like Casting Crowns sings - 

I'll Praise You in this Storm.
Written by Mark Hall / Music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now
God, You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with You"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with You"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
(repeat)

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
Though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

2005 Club Zoo Music (BMI) / SWECS Music (BMI) (adm. by EMI CMG Publishing) / Word Music, LLC (ASCAP) / Banahama Tunes (ASCAP) (adm. by Word Music, LLC

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Gratefulness



I'm not grateful enough. I know it.  I mean, I’m grateful for things, but I thing we generally go through life just taking things for granted, and not being truly grateful for them.  I certainly do not express my gratefulness enough, either to my husband, or more importantly, to God  I have a very comfortable home, my husband has a good job which enabled me to stay home and now go back to school, my children are all alive, well and thriving. We live in a free country where we can worship as we please, as imperfect as it is – it could be a whole lot worse! I go to a good church where the Lord is worshiped and we are encouraged to live out our lives in service to Him.   I have my salvation, but do I really express how grateful I am for it?  My reading for school this week has convicted me that I need to be much more grateful for things. Deitrich Bonhoeffer wrote:


We prevent God from giving us the great spiritual gifts He has in store for us, because we do not give thanks for daily gifts. We think we dare not be satisfied with the small measure of spiritual knowledge, experience, and love that has been given to us, and that we must constantly be looking forward eagerly for the highest good. The we deplore the fact that we lack the deep certainty, the strong faith, and the rich experience that God has given to others, and we consider this lament to be pious.  We pray for the big things and forget to give thanks for the ordinary, small (and yet really not small) gifts. How can God entrust great things to one who will not thankfully receive from Him the little things? (Bonhoeffer, 1978)
I’m going to commit to practicing gratitude this week.  Not to see what happens, but because I should.



Reference:
Bonhoeffer, D. (1978). Life Together. New York: Harper One. page 13 - as quoted in
Gutierrez, D. E. (2010). Ministry Is.... Nashville: B&H Publishing Group.
Image from http://bws.biblista.net/2010/09/sunday-xxviii-c-the-one-who-gave-thanks/

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Who is worthy?


    • Who is worth my allegiance? Who is worth my affection?
    • Who is worth my devotion? Who is worthy of my faith?
    • Who is worth my time, my money, my possessions?
    • Who is worthy of my dreams, my hopes, and my future?
    • Who deserves my mind, mouth, hand, feet, and heart?

    • Who is worthy?
    • Who is worth staying pure for? Who is worth taking time to pray to?
    • Who is worth sharing with friends and strangers?
    • Who is worth giving a tenth of your money to?
    • Who is worth trusting completely? Who is worth giving your Sunday mornings to? Who is worth living a life of integrity for?

    • Who is worthy?
    • Who is worthy of going into full-time ministry for?
    • Who is worthy of going to a big city and starting a new church for?
    • Who is worthy of crossing cultures for??

    • Who is worthy?
    • Who is worth going to jail for
    • Who is worth living for?
    • Who else is worthy dying for?
    • Who is worth standing and singing to? 
 
 

Text: Earley & Gutierrez (2010) “Ministry Is…How to Serve Jesus with Passion and Confidence” (Nashville:  Broadman & Holman)




Image from www.tapestrynvelvet.com

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Psalm 1

    Blessed is the man
        who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
    nor stands in the way of sinners,
        nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
    but his delight is in the law of the LORD,
        and on his law he meditates day and night.
    He is like a tree
        planted by streams of water
    that yields its fruit in its season,
        and its leaf does not wither.
    In all that he does, he prospers.
    The wicked are not so,
        but are like chaff that the wind drives away.
    Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
        nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;
    for the LORD knows the way of the righteous,
        but the way of the wicked will perish.
(Psalm 1 ESV)

Two verses.  Three simple reminders.

Blessed is the man who walk not in the counsel of the wicked -  from whom do I seek counsel?

Nor stands in the way of sinners, or sits in the seat of scoffers - with whom am I keeping company?

But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night - am I spending time meditating on his law?  Do I take delight in scripture?

Lord, remind me of these and show me the way of the righteous as I meditate on your word.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

January 1, 2013 A New Year



For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
                a time to be born, and a time to die;
                a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
                a time to kill, and a time to heal;
                a time to break down, and a time to build up;
                a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
                a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
                a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
                a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
                a time to seek, and a time to lose;
                a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
                a time to tear, and a time to sew;
                a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
                a time to love, and a time to hate;
                a time for war, and a time for peace.
(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 ESV)

My scripture reading to start the New Year.   I wrote a blog earlier today which was a synopsis of the past year, but this post will really be the first post of the year.  I’m following the ESV Study Bible reading plan, and the first reading was this, followed by Genesis 1, 1 Chronicles 1 and Luke 1:1-25

Yes, there is a season for everything.  And now is the season for me to be a student again.  So far, I’ve taken Theology, Biblical Worldview and an information technology course. My GPA is 3.86 (I think J ) – not bad for someone returning to school after a long time!  This semester will be Intro to Christian Ministries, Intro to Missions and the worst class -  math!  I am fairly certain I will do will in at least two of them, and hoping for the best in the third.  Classes start January 14, my books should be here January 3.  

Today's plan - follow WW points again, try to get a walk in - providing it warms up a bit (I'm such a wimp now that I've lived in AZ for 12 years!), and work on quilting!  I have three, no four in progress.  I hope to finish the top of the quilt Ian started last year, it's a potato chip pattern, so fairly easy.  Chuck, Jodie and the kids were going to come over this afternoon, but since Abby is sick with a double ear infection, I don't know the status of that.  So things may change.  If I do get the quilt top finished, I'll post an update with pictures.  




Happy New Year!


Lamentations 3:19-23
19 I remember my affliction and my wandering,
    the bitterness and the gall.
20 I well remember them,
    and my soul is downcast within me.
21 Yet this I call to mind
    and therefore I have hope:
22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

This is a new year, and new beginnings.  Last year brought some major changes in our lives, but the verses above reminds me of God's faithfulness. Just like the cactus blooms every year, God's faithfulness blooms every day.

Today's blog entry is more a wrap-up of the last year.  There was a major change for me, I started taking classes towards finishing my BA in Interdisciplinary Studies at Liberty University.  The first semester of school went well, I finished it out with A's in all three of my classes.  This semester will be more difficult, since I'm taking the first of three dreaded math classes.  I will persevere  though and make it through that class.  I'm going to work hard, and hopefully pull at least a C, maybe even a B.  Physically, I had a lot of challenges, starting with a badly sprained ankle in January, followed by rotator cuff issues and a major issue with my knee that kept me from exercising pretty much all year.  That HAS to change this year!  One part of my blogging this year will be a running commentary on my fitness goals and accomplishments. (Corrected errors, thanks to my oh-so-wonderful editor-in-residence :) )

Ian, Abby, Jodie and Chuck at Winterhaven

Christmas Night

Last year was, well, tumultuous. Started the year with the stress of Chuck and Ian moving out here, homeschooling Ian, which did not work out well, dealing with issues and finances.  Chuck started with AFNI within a few weeks of getting here, which was a huge answer to prayer and he seems to be doing very well there, having been selected for several different pilot programs and has gotten at least one raise so far.  We're praying that more raises will be following soon.  Jodie and Abby moved out in May, and in a lot of ways things got better, as Jodie was offered a teaching job within two weeks of moving. Amanda, Matt and Eli (more about her later) are all working at Cottonwood Elementary, the same  school where Jodie is teaching music.  They are special needs paraprofessionals, and while the work is stressful at times, they all love it in their own way. 

Matt graduated Magna Cum Laude from Arizona Christian University with a BA in Christian Ministries, but it took him a while to find the job at Cottonwood. He's doing well and is considering heading back to school for his Master's degree in Special Education. He's finally getting more involved with the college ministry at church, as well as working with the children's ministry.  This year, he needs to find a second job to help pay off his student loans and get a new car, so he can move on with his life. 


Amanda and Eli
Amanda did not do well in school, and that is presenting a huge challenge.  She's doing very well in her job, and is actually working a second job two days a week at the mall.   She is going to meet with a counselor at Pima tomorrow to try to figure out her next step in school.  She really needs to figure out a plan for continuing.  She is considering changing to a certification program in Early Childhood Education, and I think that would be best for her at this point. 

Eli is Elizabeth Hartwig, a MK from Ecuador who moved in with us in June.  She was going to ACU, but could no longer afford it and transferred to Pima. We gave it a trial run, and discovered it was working out, so she is rooming with Amanda.  Her parents, Earl and Cathy Hartwig, just moved from Ecuador to Papua New Guinea where they are assisting with rebuilding a hydroelectric plant at a hospital there. As I tell her, she's my daughter of another mother, and has become a welcome part of our family.

Mark and Dianna on Christmas
Dianna - same as always.  She's now the paralegal manager at her job and while she enjoys the additional money, it is a lot more stressful and she's now salary as opposed to hourly, which sometimes isn't that great.  Mark - no real changes, but Corey is finally working, which is a blessing.  We are still actively praying for the Lord to reveal himself to them in an unmistakeable way.

Grandpa Tom and Aiden
Andrew and Delilah are doing well.  They welcomed Aiden Robert into the family on August 9.  He's a doll!  As grandbaby #1 for Tom, he already is getting spoiled :)  We saw them in September when we went out to North Carolina, then again this Christmas when they came out here.   Andrew is still in the Marines, but with some medical issues is on desk duty, and possibly looking at a discharge.  At this point, he's ok with that - now that he's a Dad, the thought of deploying and leaving Aiden behind really bothers him.  Again, like Dianna and Mark, we are praying for their spiritual awakening.

Tommy, well Tommy is being Tommy.  He is having major difficulties.  He recently moved to North Carolina to live with Delilah and Andrew, but it doesn't appear that is going to work out very well.  Some major steps need to be taken, but he has to want to take them.  Some of it is going to be forced on him.  Much, much prayer is going on about him.

Tom's job continues to be stressful.  We are praying fervently for a new position.  He has a lead on one, and just completed his resume for it, but it will not open up until March.  He has three more years to go before he can retire, as that is when I will be able to receive Tri-Care and my retirement.  The door is still open for him to enter ministry at Wycliffe, but I can't push him through it.

We are actively involved in a new ministry at church - one of the more difficult ones.  We are co-facilitators of Divorce Care.  I didn't realize just how much the ministry would bring all the issues I thought I had dealt with to the forefront once again.  I think those issues are just coming out because of the various kid-issues we've had lately. At any rate, it's not pleasant.  We have a great team to work with though, Brian and Sara Feather, Cheryl Alexander and Nancy Perry.  God is blessing the work, and I look forward to see what happens this coming year.

I'm still involved in Friendship International, our ESL ministry, but my level of involvement has decreased with my school responsibilities.  I'm on a holding pattern there this semester, waiting to see how school goes.   We are getting a new building, so we have quite a bit of work to do this next two weeks to prep for the move.  There will be major changes for the teachers, which will be challenging.

Dad and Betty
The last major change was Dad's move to Kentucky.  He had lived out here for a little over a year, but in April moved to Kentucky with his bride, Elizabeth Sweeney.  They are doing well, but I miss our weekly lunches. 

I'm starting a new reading plan.  I did pretty well last year sticking to one, especially when I read first thing in the morning and then started school work.  Classes start again on the 14th, but I want to be disciplined enough with reading that the habit is well-engrained by then.    I do have another blog idea that I really need to write, and am going to work on it some more this afternoon. For now... keep plugging away.