From Ohio to Virginia to Tucson

I am slowly getting back to normal, but I've discovered if I do too much, I'm totally zapped the next day.  Yesterday was a pretty "normal" day for me, but evidently it was too much, because I'm totally wiped today.

I was thinking about what my next blog post would be about, and what kept coming back was how I ended up in Tucson, Arizona. The story is an amazing account of God clearly moving in my life.  We were living in Fairborn, Ohio, where we had been since Dianna, my oldest daughter who is now 30, was 4 and Chuck, my oldest son, was 7.  We had moved back there from a year in Oxnard, California when their father was hired by the federal government and went to work at Wright-Patterson AFB.  We settled back in our old church, Grand Avenue Baptist (now Grand Heights), and things were moving along.  Two more children came - Matt in 1989 and Amanda in 1992.  I continued in the Reserves and just being a mom.  We were very involved in church and just living life.

A rather traumatic event occurred when Chuck was in 9th grade.  I won't go into details about it, but it was life-changing in many ways. I remember just prior to the event, I doing a Bible study called "Becoming a Woman of Prayer" by Cynthia Heald.   Nancy Booher, who is my closest friend, was leading the study.  She challenged us at the beginning to write down one thing we hoped to gain from the study.  I wrote in my journal that I wanted to see clear, unmistakable answers to prayer. Little did I know how God would do just that.  Over the next several years, I saw and experienced God working in ways I could never have imagined.  

My former husband was offered a position at the Pentagon, so we found ourselves moving to Dale City,  Virginia.  I loved it.  I loved the DC area - so much to see and do, and most of it free.  I could spend days just wandering around the National Mall area, exploring all the museums and monuments.  I continued to do reserve duty, in an area where I had so many choices of assignments.  It was good. 

Life was not without it's problems, however.  It was during the second year we were there that my former husband decided he no longer wanted to be married.  We had had our share of problems, but I thought that we were working through them.  I won't go into the issues we had, suffice it to say that neither of us are totally innocent. It did, however take my totally by surprise.  However, again God proved to be more than faithful.  He, in his foreknowledge, knew that this day was coming.  He moved us to a place where not only would I have sufficient work, but I had a great support system.  For starters, Nancy had moved to Maryland a few years before, so she was only about 50 miles from me.  Also, we had joined a church, Mt. Ararat Baptist, in Stafford when we moved to the area.  Two families that we had been friends with in Ohio both had moved to the same area - Tammy and Dwyer Dennis and Brent and Gwen Curtis.  Dwyer and Brent were both military and stationed in the area.  When my former husband left, they rallied around me and were a great help in getting through.   

I said that God provided - not only emotionally with the support system, but financially as well.  The DC are is arguably one of the most expensive areas in the country, and I was scared I couldn't survive.  However, my reserve time really proved to be valuable.  I remember walking into my Chief's office and telling him what had happened.  I had known him for years - we had been stationed together at Wright-Patt when I was active duty, so he knew me well.  He immediately put the wheels in motion to put me to work for as long as he could.  It turned out that he had me working for the next four months with out any breaks.  In fact, just when things looked like they were not going to work out any longer, I was offered a position with the Veteran's Administration.. God's perfect timing was at work. 

God provided in so many other ways.  I remember that Christmas, the kids and I were really wondering what the holiday was going to look like.  I knew I couldn't stay there, but I didn't see a way at the time of taking a trip to my parents' house in Florida.  We were doing a musical at church, and at a dress rehearsal.  I had left my purse down in the seats, and when I came down to collect my things when  rehearsal was over, I found an envelope with my name on it sticking out of the top of my purse. I opened it up, and inside was $700!  While my small group of friends knew about the financial situation we were in, I really hadn't told others about it.  But God knew, he knew that the kids couldn't stay in VA for Christmas that year, and he made it possible for us to leave. 

The next year found me selling the house in Dale City and moving into my own townhouse in Stafford. Yes, it was a further commute, but it was closer to church and friends.  Again, God provided.  The townhouse was perfect and just the right price for us.  By this time, my former husband had been gone for almost a year.  VA law required a year separation before a divorce would be granted, and it was almost up.  I had made arrangements for someone to accompany me to court, but circumstances prevented it from happening.  My former husband was, needless to say, furious, because by this time he had moved to New Mexico and his now-wife had moved in with him.  I had accepted the circumstance as from God. If he (ex) wanted the divorce, he would have to follow through. I was content where I was. I was being financially provided for, legally and with my own job, I had a support system around me, and I was ok.   It was about another month before the hearing was held and the paperwork put in place to dissolve our marriage.

It was during this time that I was exploring chat rooms. I had wondered what the draw was in talking to total strangers, since that was how my ex had met the women who convinced him to leave.  I went into a chat room for Christians going through divorce.  A certain man saw my profile verse (Jeremiah 29:11) and asked me about it.  We started talking, and found out that his father lived in Rockville, MD.  Over the course of the next several months, we would chat on line, and eventually on the phone.  He was going through much the same thing I was.  So many people think that that's not a good thing, however, we saw God moving in it as well.   It came to Thanksgiving, and his ex wife was going to have his boys for the holiday, and he couldn't bear the thought of staying town alone, so he was going to come to the DC area to visit his father.  That weekend, Tom and I met in person. 

I saw evidence that he was "ok" when we went to church that Sunday.  I was singing in the choir, and he walked in. I looked out, and there he was - hugging someone!  After church, I asked him about it.  It was old friends from Tucson who were members of my church!  Dianna was friends with their son.  Talk about providence.  Later, on a trip back to Ohio, while staying with my dear friends Bob and Cindy Sudduth, I was telling Cindy about Tom and his church.  During the course of our conversation, Cindy asked if Tom went to El Camino.  It turned out that is the same church that Bob's parents, who lived in Tucson, went!  Ok.  Too many people who knew this guy.

That Christmas, I took my first trip to Tucson. The kids were with their dad, and I was alone. Tom had come to DC for a week, and had a free ticket, so I came back with him.  What did I have to lose?  It would be an adventure.  We would continue to talk and our relationship continued to develop, so we were in deep prayer that if this wasn't God's will, He would make it perfectly clear.   I thought that time had come when Tom's ex called him, tentatively seeking reconciliation.  I told him, needless to say, that I wasn't about to stand in the way of reconciliation.  Well,  Tom's ex told him that she just wanted to brush everything under the rug and pretend it didn't happen. She wasn't willing to go to counseling, wasn't willing to be completely accountable to him or anybody, wasn't really willing to work on resolving the issues - just wanted to pretend the previous 3 years hadn't happened.  No, that wasn't going to work.  She finally said that also.  So when he called me several weeks later, we knew that all hope of reconciliation was gone for them.  It was already gone for me, my ex had remarried two days after our divorce was final. 

I came out here again early that summer.  We had prayed about it, and decided if certain things lined up, I would give up my job in DC and move.  Well, the day I interviewed for a job, I was offered one.  And, shortly after I came out, I had two people call me and ask about my townhouse - was it available for rent?  I hadn't even really let anyone know that I was considering moving!  It turned out that there was a building moratorium in our town, and existing real estate was in high demand!  I had no problem renting out my unit at all.  In fact, I sold it the next year for about $10K more than I paid for it - another amazing answer to prayer.

Tom and I got married on May 22, 2001.  It's been an interesting ride, but God is gracious.  He's provided us with some amazing friends and amazing opportunities.  Now that we are heading into retirement years, I'm excited to see what He has next in store.